i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
