I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
