I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
