Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize