How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
