ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
