But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
