Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
