I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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