I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am available for nakedness
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