i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
