Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
