life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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