If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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