Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
