Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
