I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize