i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
