somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
