Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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