Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
sex in a hospital.. check
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
