last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
