I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
