sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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