If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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