angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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