Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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