The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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