Can i not drive my cunt home
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
