Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
