Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
