even my farts smell like vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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