bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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