THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
