the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
