dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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