its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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