I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
