is your mom at the bar?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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