I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
