i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
