By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
