I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
