No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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