One girl and one boy is just not enough.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
