Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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