im drinking this country out of the recession.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
