piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
