Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
