She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Farmville is her only friend.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
