I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
