Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You're like the curious george of whores
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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