hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
