oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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