I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
