I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
