So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am one with the molecules
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
