my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
