Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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