I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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