Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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