i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
