So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
