well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
