so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
