Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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