Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
