Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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