I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
