i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Still dying that you shit outside
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
