turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
