found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
