No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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