I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
