She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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