I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
