yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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