There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
