Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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