I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize