69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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