fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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