Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
