Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize