hell yes lets make some ravioli
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You left your phone here
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