You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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