the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
