we're blogging at a bar
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
