if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
